Rusks and Almost there!

So firstly, apologies, I am a day late with this blog, I thought I would get a free moment yesterday, but unfortunately didn't.

Anyway! Now that is out the way on with how Tyler and ourselves are.

This week although 'officially' we aren't supposed to, we've started giving him little bits of baby rusks. We did talk about it before hand and even spoke to my parents and Andrea's parents, we found out that both of us started on the rusks younger than Tyler is now despite rusks saying you should wait until they are 4 months.

After an unsure start and a couple funny faces being pulled Tyler really started to like it. Smiling and sometimes laughing whilst eating it.

Maybe being slightly keen we've already been out and picked an array of flavoured jared foods that he can try once he's a little more used to it. I have to admit I am excited about seeing what he's into and what he isn't, an seeing his little personality evolve.

A fun fact from the other day, we measure him. Remembering he was 45cm when he is now 58cm long and, although we haven't been yet to check, he must of more than doubled in weight!

I've spent a lot of my time this past couple of weeks making sure I can get everything together to hopefully start revealing more details of it over the coming weeks.

I know I keep saying this, but I am getting closer to revealing it all I promise!

Thank you for being patient, and thank you for joining me again for this late, short, blog and I hope you join me again next week.

Injections Take 2!

Immunisation week. Not the week I wanted to come around at all! Dreading it all week it finally dawned upon us. We had opted not to give him calpol before and just have it ready sitting and waiting for when we got back.

On the way there and whilst sitting in the waiting room, I have to admit the thought of it was starting to make me feel sick. The fact that my doctors never see you when they say they are going to didn't help, so we had an extra 20 minutes sitting, waiting.

We both felt like we didn't have much to say, we both just had this fear and guilt of what we were about to put him through. The guilt was heightened by him having a really good, smiley morning and was still smiling away at us in the doctors.

Eventually we were called into the nurses room. We sat in there and Andrea was already starting to get teary, at which point the nurse asked if she would like to wait outside, which she agreed to do and left me with Tyler and the nurse. I can understand her reasonings why as I know she felt more emotional towards it than I did. I was more in the frame of mind of; 'It needs to be done, so let's get it over with.'

The nurse injected him with the first needle whilst he was smiling away at me, I braced myself for the worst. Expecting screaming and crying I was greeted with more of a confused face as to what just happened, not wasting this moment I span him round to get the other injection done as quick as possible.

The injection was made and at that point I think he realised what happened, he had a little cry, so I stood up and hugged him to try and comfort him. Within no more than a few seconds he was smiling away at me again. Andrea came back into the room, and she was as shocked as I was.

He was back to smiling away at the nurse, it was as if it had never happened. The relief was amazing, we felt like so much had been lifted.

Since the injections he hasn't been too different, I think its hit his immune system a little as he's been sleeping a lot more. At points he will wake up late for his feed clearly feeling uncomfortable, whether it be from the injections or hunger pains, so at the moment we just make sure he feels loved and as ok as we can.

I haven't forgotten about the project of been dying to speak of, I've just been trying to get everything ready to be able to show you all, I'm am drawing ever closer and I'm very nearly there. So a couple more weeks and hopefully I can start revealing things to you!

As always thank you for joining me on my journey and I do hope you stick with me and continue to support me. I look forward to you joining me next week on this life changing ride into parenthood.

Smiles, baths and an uncertain week ahead

Tyler has finally started to find his voice. We have had a few proper laugh's, which are possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen. You can see him trying to experiment with different noises, making noise whilst moving his mouth around and creating different shapes with it to get a different sound out.

The other day it sounded so much like he was singing to himself in his sleep, little murmurs every few seconds with each deep breathe.

Bath time is starting to be enjoyed. Splashing, smiling and giggling is always involved not just from Tyler, but from myself and Andrea as well.

We have had to make sure he stays warm though as he's had a bit of a cold, not surprising as I and Andrea have both had one. Its made him a little ratty and sneeze and cough a bit, but not nearly as bad as I thought he would be.

Next week we are both dreading as its immunisation time again! Andrea refuses to talk about it as she doesn't like thinking about it. I'm not looking forward to it myself as I know how much discomfort and how scared it made him last time.

I remember walking away thinking, because I was holding him, he is going to hate me now. I know I'm going to feel so guilty again and I'm hating the thought of having to hold him and watch him from having big smiles on his face, to screams and tears.

I was talking to friend of mine about it and she gave me some advice which I now have a conflict of feelings toward. She said, 20 minutes before the injections, give him calpol and it will help ease any pain or discomfort when they are done. Although in the same breath she told me that the midwife would tell us not to do this as they say it may dilute the stuff they inject him with, stopping it from working properly.

I would love to know if anyone else has an opinion on this or any other suggestions on what to do.

We did manage to enjoy our night out for my birthday, although Andrea did leave early, because she just felt really bad and missed him too much. I don't want to sound like I didn't miss him because I did, a lot, but I did stay out and enjoy my night.

So far we've found a larger feed at night doesn't always lead to a longer sleep at night, but a bath tends to settle him for longer. Slowly, but surely we are getting closer to a full nights sleep.

Thank you for joining me another week on my journey and I hope you are back with me next week, when I may possibly have more new on my project which I will be pushing out.

Great Sleep & Good Bonds

Last night I received a pleasant surprise. Tyler slept through for 9 and a half hours! Happy days, god knows why, but he did. Hopefully going to start trying to make this a regular occurrence. It may have something to do with seemingly stupidly thirsty the night before so we gave him a little more milk than he'd usually have.

Is this the answer to a longer night? A slightly larger feed before bed? I suppose we will have to put it to the test and see what happens. I will keep you posted on his progress.

Tonight is going to be an odd night, with it being my birthday on tuesday we are going to make a night of it tonight so I don't disrupt work in the week. This will be our first night out in about a year or so, time without Tyler being with us 24/7 is weird enough as it is. But to go out drinking, having a good time and trying not to worry about him for one reason or another is going to be difficult.

I'm hoping it will get easier as the night goes on much like valentines day. The daunting thing though is we won't be returning before midnight this time, luckily my mum has generously and happily offered to take care of him for the night so we can go out and try to enjoy ourselves.

I will write it now, mainly to remind myself, but it is Mothers Day on the 18th. It'll be the first time I have bought a mothers day gift for someone other than my mother and I'm stuck for ideas, I struggle enough trying to find something for my own mother.

I feel I'm finally settling into parenthood, being able to handle my stresses a lot better. This past couple weeks has generated a lot of stresses and issue's on the work side of my life. I've managed to channel these negative feelings and not let them come into my life with Tyler, so I feel like I'm finally finding my balance.

I still say to people now even after all this time, none of this feels real. I feel like its a prolonged babysitting session or something to that effect.

Saying this I think it is starting to set in, now that I'm starting to feel more and more connected to Tyler. I finally feel like he recognises me and that he likes it when I play with him and hold him, I finally feel like I have a proper bond. The other day I had a long day out working followed by a night out working, I didn't make it home till late at night. Tyler was still awake when I got back, when I walked in and sat down, he heard my voice and saw me and wouldn't take his eyes off me. I picked him up to give him a hug as I'd missed him and he just wouldn't stop smiling!

It gives you one of those feelings you can't understand until you experience it.

Thank You for reading, please do stay with me on my journey, comment and share. I hope you join me again next friday.

Reflection and Wonder

Not much has gone on over this past week or so. This has given me time to look back and reflect on how far we have already progressed in just under 10 weeks since Tyler made his appearance.

Spending time with my new-found nephew made me realise how big Tyler is now. My nephew was born 6lb 14 when he was born and Tyler was 5lb 5. Tyler felt huge compared to this newborn. It seems I still haven't fully adjusted and its only just occurred to me that still, after all this time, it still doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel like he's really ours. It almost feels like an extended baby sitting session.

When my son was a newborn he was just about hitting the half way point when lying down in the moses basket, now he's nearly scraping the top of it. It'll be very soon we will have to start moving him into his cot.

When he would fall asleep on my chest he would just about cover my chest. Now he is pushing his feet down on my legs trying to stand himself up, and doing quite a good job at it too. He's getting extremely good at hold his head up and looking around, he' so aware of his surroundings and what is going on.

He loves being sat up so he can look around by his own free will and can spot a TV in any room within seconds of being in it. He's definitely mine, he loves watching the tv and laptop or computer screens if anyone is on youtube.

His feeds are like clockwork, accept at night, he has started to push for 6-7 hours at night time which is brilliant for us, any extra sleep is a bonus. Although also like clockwork he is up without fail at 8am every morning, not that much of a problem, but becoming a morning person is quite a challenge when I have spent my life doing quite the opposite.

He is a very happy independent and smiley baby and I really couldn't be happier with him. My job now is to make sure he grows up carrying on to be happy, learning trust, respect, manners and honour. I can't help but feel like the world is against me on that full of greed, violence and hate, some nice people, but a lot of evils ones too.

I suppose now its my job to teach him, nurture him and protect him. Despite this being a daunting task considering what I've already mentioned, I am more than ready to take it on and do everything I can to bring up my son to be the best man he can be.

Thank you for continuing to join me, please do share and stay with me and together we can hopefully help a lot of scared and nervous men.